Some Free Cosmic Inspiration

We all get stuck in bad moods. It sounds so easy to “cheer up”, but sometimes it feels nearly impossible. Just because it’s happening inside our own head doesn’t make it easy to fix. Trying to settle your thoughts is like being stuck in a crowded movie theatre and everyone is talking super loud but they won’t listen when you tell them to shut up. But in the end, its all about perspective. If you can find a way to shift how you are looking at a situation, you can bring the noise to a halt and find peace. This isn’t an easy task, and its different for each person. For me, I have to think big. Bigger than what we could ever imagine…
You-are-here
The ground you’re standing on is huge chunk of rock, spinning at over 1,000mph, being slung around a huge ball of fire at 68,000mph, hurling through space at over 2,700,000mph. Just 25 miles under your feet, there’s molten rock boiling at 1,600 degrees (F), which is leaking out on parts of the surface. Right under that, there is sloshing, bubbling rubble that has temperatures of over 10,000 degrees (F). We are standing on a land mine, twirling and jetting through space at astronomical speeds around a nuclear furnace that is so hot you can’t even look at it…
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This makes me wonder, why do I ever let the little nuisances of life get to me? Why do I waste my time caring about them? I’m going to make sure that I enjoy every damn precious moment. It’s a blessing that we get to stick on this boulder while the Galaxy crashes through the infinite unknown, taking us nowhere and everywhere at the same time. We are tumbling through an abyss on a luxury cruise. No planet has it as good as us. Every time I look into the sky, I think about the magnitude of what’s happening beyond what I can see. It’s a chaotic, violent world out there that doesn’t have a plan and doesn’t act with any reason. It’s a series of random moments that we are fortunate enough to survive through, and every second is a miracle.
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The next time your mind is stuck in an angry frenzy, look up and think about the paradise we live in. Try to be grateful that the universe granted us the ability to experience any type of happiness whatsoever. Be proud of every second of your existence. Even with all its faults, the life we have here is the most precious gift the universe has to offer.

12 Unwritten Rules of Beards, Written Down

mebeard
6 Months ago, my wife convinced me to grow a beard. Since then I’ve learned: men don’t grow beards. Beards grow men. Thank you Wife.

Below are my sacred rules of Beard Club. Please do not distribute this.

Rules of Beard Club

1. You do not talk about having a beard.

2. You do NOT talk about having a beard.

3. If someone cannot grow a beard, you do NOT rub it in their child-like, feminine face.EXCUSE-ME,-MISS-MY-EYES-ARE-UP-HERE-T-Shirts

4. You do not smile at strangers, otherwise they will not fear you.

5. You do not itch your beard in public.

6. Do not look into the eyes of a man with a superior beard. Respect his majesty.

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7. You cannot mention your beard on your resume. That would be unfair.

8. If you are homeless, your beard does not count.

9. You must master crazy eyes. You will need them.

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10. Do not complain about no beard emojis. Beards have no emotion.

11. If someone tells you to shave, see rule #9.

12. If someone tries to sabotage your beard, you have every legal right to vaporize them.

This post is a tribute to one of the most legendary beards to ever live… rickbeard The Walking Dead will never be the same.